- Anti Joke

What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

Knock Knock Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

I wonder if barrack Obama will rename the whitehouse...to the blue house because it is his favorite color

Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

The lion swallowed his pride.

my eyes hurt from what? being open too much

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Why did the girl fall off her bike? she got a fridge thrown at her

What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I personally really do not know

A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

Knock Knock Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

charlie sheen losing

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

I wonder if barrack Obama will rename the whitehouse...to the blue house because it is his favorite color

who ever is reading this....

Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

The lion swallowed his pride.

my eyes hurt from what? being open too much

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Why did the girl fall off her bike? she got a fridge thrown at her

What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I personally really do not know

A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

charlie sheen losing

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

I wonder if barrack Obama will rename the whitehouse...to the blue house because it is his favorite color

who ever is reading this....

Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Knock Knock Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.