What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Nobody know he couldn't open it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was an object of great appeal to him on the other side.

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What did Coke say to Pepsi? "Hello."

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What's worse than seeing 5 dead babies on the side of the road? Realizing slavery is banned after buying a perfectly good young black male for a reasonable price at your local walmart.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

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What is the difference between a black man and a Chevrolet? They didn't sell Chevrolets in the 1800s.

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because seven "eight" nine. Yeah, I went there.

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What did the black man say to the asian man? hello.

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Steven Hawkin ran a marathon.

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epic win?

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My mother-in-law fell down a stairway. I turned to my wife and said “Call an ambulance!!”

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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Why did then plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? i know how to make a pizza

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Q. What did the buddhist monk say to the hotdog vendor? A. "I'd like a hotdog, please."

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What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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Jesse is so fat, his weight on his scale says " hahaha gotta love childhood obesity"

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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i just got pulled over by a cop. he asked me if i had been drinking, i said no. he asked me to step out of my car so he could look inside i looked nervous, and had no other choice to step out. he knew there was something in there he looked in and saw it THE REFRIDGERATOR

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops