Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

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Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

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An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

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What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

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im at school

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What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

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Why did the boy yawn? Because he was tired.

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

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A Cow Walk's Into A Bar And Say's Drink Please The Bartender Is Then Sent To A Mental Hospital For Talking To A Cow.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

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It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops