How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

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What was the difference between an Irishmen and a apple? Alot.

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How do you scare a brunette? Hide behind a door or wall until the unsuspecting person walks by, then jump out and yell.

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Why couldn't the woman drive the car? Because she was a woman.

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What did the cow say to the farmer? moo

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The day the forces of light fight the forces of darkness, we will all live in darkness no matter who wins. Pure darkness will not allow you to see. Pure light will blind you.

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( . Y . )

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What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

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Poop

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ded on boomer and aodddan

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What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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What's the best joke in the world? This one.

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What did the serial killer do when his check bounced? He promptly deposited more money into his account.

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Why? Why Not?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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knock knock whos there? orange orange who? orange you pissed off your wifes taking in the ass from another guy right now?

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Somebody else besides you: what time is it? You: what time is what? SOmebody else: ? What?

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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A Cadillac Escalade ran off a cliff with 4 black man in it. What's wrong with this? The Cadillac could hold 6 people.

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On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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