Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

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Johnny Depp is Alexander Graham the whole time.

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Why do gingers have red hair? Its genetically encoded in their DNA

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What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

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Why did the man name his boy "Sue?" He had bad eyesight and thought it was a girl.

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What does a scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Worlds first anti joke.

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

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What did the skinny man say to the fat woman. That sucks.

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Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

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I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

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Two black men walk into a strip club. They immediately walk out because they have faithful wives at home nurturing their beautiful African children.

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Q: Whats blue and white and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A: A tree wearing a denim jacket.

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What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

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Q: What happens when two feminists try to chanbe a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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why did the man hit the flight attendant? Im just kidding he didnt.

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The Kidder vs Bratman, not featuring Robbing the gay wonder: "MUHAHAhAha Bratman if you get me ill kill myself!" HOHOHOHO. "Uh okay" "I totally will!" "Go ahead" "I promise!" Bratman kills the Kidder as a favor, and no crime runs around Goodham city ever the end. Moral: Totally original nothing stolen from Joker and the Batman.

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why didnt Joe drive the tractor today? Because Joe doesnt have any arms or legs. Why doesnt Joe have any arms or legs? A) Because Joe is a potatoe

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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How do you get rich? Cut chunks off a fat person with a cleaver and sell them to china.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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