Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Jacob loves stroking his gf's doodle every lunch break. He was embarrased cause it was bigger than his.

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the bat mobile? Robin,get in the bat mobile.

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How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

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What did the biscuit say when he saw his friend get run over? Oh my god. Dave, are you ok? Somebody call an ambulance.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Because he was bringing food to support his wife and 3 kids whom were very hungry and needed it to survive.

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A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

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What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

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What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

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how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to put in a lightbulb? 3 dirty stinkin apes, 1 dirty stinkin ape to put in the lightbulb and 2 dirty stinkin apes to throw feces at each other

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Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

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what did the little boy get from santa claus on christmas? nothing santa isnt real

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the gay guys house Knock knock Who is there The chicken!!!!!!

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

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give me a thumbs up

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

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You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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