A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

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Whats more realistic than evolution? Everything

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Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

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some of the people who write thes jokes are complete assholes

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

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"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

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A man walked into a bar. He got a head trauma and committed suicide.

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Q: Why did the cheerleader drop her pom-poms? A: She was knocked unconscious from behind and repeatedly sodomized by a convicted rapist.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is black.

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Why do vampires suck blood? Because they re crazy.

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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what starts with F and ends with ead? Fred was walking to school one day when he heard a strange noise in a tree. He walked up to the tree, looked up, and saw a cat. Fred was late for class, so he decided to go to school and help the cat out after school. Eight hours later, Fred came up to the tree and looked up to see if the cat was there. It wasn't. The cat was lying next to the tree, dead.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

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There once was a man who couldn't finish any sente

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Knock knock Whos there? The Gestapo

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i was gunna write a joke..but i took an arrow to me knee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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