Why can't Tom Maynard play cricket anymore Because he's dead

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

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Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

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general tso's broccoli

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What is a bad thing to see and is attached to a boy's body. The middle finger u dumb ass!

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the bat mobile? Robin,get in the bat mobile.

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Jacob loves stroking his gf's doodle every lunch break. He was embarrased cause it was bigger than his.

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally had a burning hatred for dairy products.

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what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hold on. Let me think of an answer.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

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What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

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Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

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Knock Knock. Who's there? What's up. What's up who? The sky.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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