You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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Whats as flat as a pancake and alive Ya nan being flattened by a truck on the motorway

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. They both promptly drowned.

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What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

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What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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There's two people, one wearing a nice sweater and the other is not. The one without has to walk the dog, so he asks the other guy if he can have his sweater. He says "No but you can wear it."

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In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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