Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

GADZOOKS!

Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve

Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

What did the man with aids say? "I'm dying and there is nothing you can do about it"

What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding A Duck in your apple! What is worse than finding a duck in your apple? Finding a racist in your apple! Whats worse than finding a racist in your apple? DEATH

Where did Little Billy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

your mom died.

The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

What's the difference between a plane and a Muslim dentist? A plane hasn't dedicated its life to the study of dentistry

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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