How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: It didn't do it for any good reason,chickens are mindless and do random things,like crossing the road

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What is 1+4x : No i will not take my pants off!

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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A priest a rabbi and the dalai lama walk into a bar. They decided to order the hotwings...... Why do u care??? : )

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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What did the baby say to it's mother as it was being thrown in the trash bin? Nothing, it couldn't talk yet.

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Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

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My dad said that if I post anymore jokes on this website, the will hit my head against the keyboaaskdnaji;nsd;asdnasd;

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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Knock knock How is ? Bond ,James Bond!

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I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

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John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

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what starts with an f and ends with a uck? firetruck!!

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Darude- Sandstorm

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What do you call something thats mostly made of wood, big, round and stupid A retarded version of the Knights of the round table

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My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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