Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because 7, 8, 9

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why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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What comes after 23? 24.

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How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

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Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

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how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

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What happens when a black man is alone the KKK appears

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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Knock knock Who's there? Brittney Spears Brittney Spears who? Knock Knock Who's there? Opps I did it again.

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What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

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Boner

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realising the apple is the worm...

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So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

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Yeah, me too. The car just ran straight through the stoplight and it was all over...

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Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

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When do you know when to stop making anti- jokes? when your done with your joke and click submit.

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finding out that when you had sex with that prostitute, you severely injured your urethra tube and you cannot create urine or spurm.

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A Pakistani news reader.

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What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

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how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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