Q. Whats worse than 9 babies in 1 suitcase? A. 1 baby in 9 suitcases.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What did one muffin say to the other muffin? A: "AAAA! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats brown and sticky? ..Poo

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they work hard at it

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Billy cross the road? Because Billy wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a woman with no arms or legs that fell off a boat fucked

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than bieber fever? A yeast infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops