Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she feels bad about herself but is too embarrassed to get a gym membership and work-out in public.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the plumber start to cry? his family died

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black man called Jermaine? Jermaine!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a prostitute with white eyes? emma , with the cloudy iris,

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A horse walked into a bar and ordered a drink. It was nothing out of the ordinary because the Everett-Wheeler interpretation of quantum mechanics is correct and he lived in a parallel universe in which the roles of humans and horses are reversed.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If a bear was mad he would be beary angry.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virgian Hawk

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than stepping on a Lego? Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the boy get hit by a bus because he had ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are black Violets are white I'm colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down -2

All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why does Timmy Teblow love penis? Logan Cole made him do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the black guy love his new shirt? Because it was 100% cotton

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit. What's worse than a dead baby in a clown suit? Ten dead babies in a trash-can. What's worse than ten dead babies in a trash-can? One dead babie in ten trash-cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hey

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops