what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

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knock knock whose there? my penis.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

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So, there was two successful business men at a social gathering when one leans in to the other to comment, "Hey, that women over there, she looks like your wife!" to which the other one replies, "That is my wife."

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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Seven

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If life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

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Why does Courtney smell? she has a severe lack of personal hygiene which needs addressing,

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Why didn't the Hispanic man get elected? Because his policies were unpopular.

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What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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Why was patrick sad? he was raped then murdered then super raped

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Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

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A man walks into a bar. He suffered concussions later that night.

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Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

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What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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Why did the mother get upset with her son? Because he sexually experimented with his cousin.

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I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

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Why did Darren Wilson quick scope Michael Brown? Because he was being attacked, racism is wrong

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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