- Anti Joke

Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

"My c.ock is bigger!" "No! My c.ock is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger dick.

What do you get when you jump into the Red Sea? Wet.

run farther?

theres a black guy and a mexican whos driving the cop

What did the mormon say when he complemented the gay person? Nothing, because mormons hate gays.

Knock, Knock Who's there? The FBI

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How much seamen does a gay guy have??? A whole butt load.

What did the chicken say after crossing the road? Nothing.It's a f*cking chicken.

whos the biggest oaf................................ coasta

how do you turn your dishwasher into a garbage disposal? make her take out the trash.

What did the taxi driver say to the chicken when the chicken called a cab? "aren't you supposed to be crossing a road somewhere?" Little did the taxi driver know that the chickens license was taken away for multiple DUIs because when his wife left him he became an alcoholic mess, lost his job and became depressed. But when he called the taxi, he was on his way to a job interview. Since he never made it to his job interview he soon went broke and lost his home. Having hit rock bottom, the chicken unawarely started to cross a busy road and was ran over by that same taxi driver.

What is human, went bankrupt eight times, got a small loan of a million dollars, and is over all a terrible person? Your probably thinking Donald Trump Well your correct.

Yeah, it makes sense if you think about it, I changed my alias back and forth from Axel Knight, to Axel White, first because Axel White sounded not only as a opposite to Nero, but also because it sounded like something a Nazi leader would call himself, we went renegade and used that in order to draw in and bust a lot of Neo Nazi`s with enough money and bad intentions to make bad stuff happen. But thats another story, I heard about an Axel Knight partaking in Point Zero, had I known you where the leader (I hope you are being honest friend) I would have warned you much sooner, but there was no way for me to know if you where working together... Since you literally where.

Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

Everyone was standing in a bank happily Three muslims walk in Everyone continues their everyday lives coz we live in a non racist society and nothing could go wrong Then the building blew up

Slam! Slam! Slam! I'm a woodpecker. Slam! Slam! Slam! Except with dirt.

Holy Fish Sticks Batman! Batman and Robin were at a church and saw a priest eating fish sticks.

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

Why can't Michael Jackson swim? Because he is dead.

a chicken walks into a cafe, where it is swiftly caught, killed, plucked ,and served with stuffing and all for £5.99

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is random Microwave

Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Whose there? Person 1: Frank Person 2: Oh, hey man. Come on in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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