What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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A man called the police and was later arrested for murdering himself,

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i have two hands.

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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What did your mother say after I beat her? Nothing, because she was dead.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar everyone is amazed because the surgery he just got cured his parilization

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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Blonde: Hey, what does "Idk" mean? Blonde's friend: "I don't know" Blonde: Thank you for telling me, that has been bothering me for quite some time now.

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One day in Africa there was a family of Americans touring an African village. They were a happily married couple with a four year old son. This day however was a very sad day because a group of elephants came trampling through the village. The couple left there kids inside and went to help control the elephants. however the elephants killed them all with their feet. Now the little boy wandered outside because after all he was just a little boy. He was about to be killed when a baby elephant calmed down his mom, so he saved his life. The baby elephant then took the little boy back to the airport by which the married couple came because elephants are very smart. The boy didnt want to leave his new found friend the baby elephant but the little boy was then sent back and lived with his Uncle. When he was older, he had a child of his own, a little boy. One day he decided to take his son to a circus, that was from Africa. He didnt realize there would be elephants there. This day the elephants got spooked by a mice and started to stomp all around. Then the man realized his son was missing. He looked down to find his son about to be stomped on by this old elephant. Just as the elephant was about to stomp he and the man made eye contact. The man thought noticed the look in that elephants eyes, like he reconized them. He thought mabye, just mabye it was the same elephant he was saved by. Turns out it wasn't and the elephant killed his son.

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How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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what did the guy say before he went to kill the other guy? Im killing you

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why does a man walks into a bar? it was a metal bar so he probably was retarted

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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Gay jokes aren't funny Cum on guys

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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? Fish are living organisms and guitars are instruments used for people's entertainment

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What looks like donuts but stinks of shit. Sean Big Macs socks

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Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

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What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

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Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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