A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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What kind of cheese isn't yours Nacho Cheese actually it depends on the type of cheese that you stole due to your kleptomania

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

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Why did the vagina smell so bad? Because it had yeast infection.

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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Q: what the apple say to the orange? A: nothing because there fruits and fruits cant talk

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Have you read Shakespeare? Dunno. Who wrote it? Shakespeare.

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

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Whats long and black? The unemployment line

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Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad ill be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!!

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i just wrote this so hard

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How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Wy did the man fall? A tree fell on his legs!

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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lewis ya baggy fuck

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What do you call a black man with a wooden leg? A veteran.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops