what can you give to a millionaire to make him happy? sex

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How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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What do you do if you see a man on the street with a pineapple up his bum? Take him to the hospital to have the pineapple removed professionally. It could be potentially dangerous for his health.

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if you watched wife-swap years ago, you'll remember that one family that bought anything they could because they didnt have to pay till 12-21-12 because they thought the world would end LOL FUN FAMILY NOW HUH

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong is an astronaut. Michael Jackson abuses little kids.

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Bob: Hey Jim, what's up? Jim: Obviously the sky, oh and i see a few planes too. by the way why are you asking me why don't you just look up?

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Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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a mexican guy and a black guy are in a car, who is driving? the mexican, the black guy is in the passenger seat

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What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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Why did the gang jump a man for his blue jeep? Answer The gang wanted a blue jeep.

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A man killed himself.

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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I have a dig bick you that read wrong you read that wrong too.

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Why did the little boy cry? I cut off his toes one by one and shoved fireworks up his ass

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Why did the student shoot his teacher? Because he was super depressed and was just diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. And he was black.

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What do a bike and a human have in common they are both objects

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what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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Safe sex MR

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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