A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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why didn't santa deliver any presents this christmas? Because he isn't real

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Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

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How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

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a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

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What did the bird say when he was riding the turtle? Weeee...

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Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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What is Ciaran Wilkie Gay

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What is a name of a kid with down syndrome. Adam Hebeison

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What do you do if you see a man on the street with a pineapple up his bum? Take him to the hospital to have the pineapple removed professionally. It could be potentially dangerous for his health.

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Factors that can increase your risk of prostate cancer include: Older age Being black Family history of prostate cancer Obesity My friend's grandfather is black and obese, his 70th birthday is tomorrow and his dad died of prostate cancer

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What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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The only thing worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke is finding a REAL joke on Anti-Joke

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Why are Asians good at math? Because coincidentally many are interested in it and study a lot.

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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