You're Mother's so fat, she sat on a chair, and it broke.

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Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

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Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

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What did the pencil say to the pen? Nothing.

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Why did billy have a bruse? Because he got smacked with a belt. -Louis

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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Why didn't little Jimmy eat his dinner? Jimmy didn't eat his dinner because there was no food. Jimmy is a poor street urchin who died of starvation.

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Want to hear a joke? Me neither.

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A married couple is arguing over the temperature in their house. The wife wants it at 62 degrees and the husband wants it at 74. What should they do? Nothing while they are arguing their daughter decides to put it at 32 and freeze them to death

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I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says why the long face? The horse does not reply because it is a horse. He then is confused of where he is and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a couple stools.

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

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What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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roses are red violets are blue clean up that **** or no sex 4 u

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall Humpty dumpty ha a great fall Hunpty dumpty's skull was split in two

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Why did the man scream? because he was run over.

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What did winter say to summer? Nothing. Seasons are physically incapable of speaking because they are not living things. They are simply an idea made by humans to explain why the weather changes as the sun spins around the earth.

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why did the homosexual man cross the road? to get to his gay partner.

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I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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