Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

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What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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How can you tell if a man is choking? Stick a fridge down his throat

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks.

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Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

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kcuf read it backwards

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If Jimmy has $5, and he finds $20 on the street, how much money does Jim have? None. He was mugged by a black man.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

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why did jenny fall off the swing? because she had no arms Knock Knock Whos there? not jenny

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

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Why did the old man get wet even though he was using an umbrella? Because it didn't save from falling off the bridge.

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What do you call a Black person in a city with high crime rates? Whatever their name happens to be.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs and an eyepatch? names...

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24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

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Knock knock Who's there? Taco Taco who? Taco bell

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What did the fly say to the frog? Nothing, insects can't talk.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

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Why did the Gazelle run away. Because a lion was nearby and as we all know, nature called for the lion to be a carnivore, so the gazelle is in danger of being consumed by the lion.

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oh my god! what? i heard this joke the other day and it was hilarious. ok, tell me? actually it doesn't matter i can't remember anyway.

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Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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