An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

i had sex i stuck my dick into your mouth

What's white, black and tan? The people of planet earth.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a porsche? i don't have i dead baby in my garage. That would be wrong

Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

They say once you go black, you never go black. But clearly they weren't referring to Nigel, who had an average-sized penis at best.

Why did the hockey cross the road? To get to KFC.

HOLY SHIT ITS AN AIRPANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

roses are red leather is black when god made you he was smoking crack

Q: What did the littl boy with cancer get for christmas? A: Nothing, he didnt make it that far.

There were once three bears who lived in a cottage in the forest. They left to go to the market one day. While they were gone a blonde girl walked into their cabin. Meanwhile at the market, everyone was freaking out that there were bears there.

What's black and white and roams the sea floor? A zebra.

How do you call a gay that is playing poker with friends You say "call" and place the right amount of fiches on the table, at that moment you are still in the race to win the pot.

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

what's worse than getting hit by a car? getting hit by a truck

Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a friend chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

if life give you lemons. put them in the fridge they should be there...

A blond walks into an electronics store. Then she promptly walks out, as she got the wrong store.

I hate blackniggers

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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