How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

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What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

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~Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was dead. ~ ~Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was stapled to the monkey!!!

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Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

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How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

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Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

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why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

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Why does the man ignore his wife? Because he is dead.

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What happened to your hamster? It died.

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Potassium? K.

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Do you know who's gay? Homosexuals.

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roses are red, violets are blue.

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Q: Why did the black man win the 100 meter dash? A: Because ever since he heard of this event, he has spent weeks preparing for it.

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When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

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Why do vampires suck blood? Because they re crazy.

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Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

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What's the difference between Sony and Kony? Sony is a company which produces electrical appliances and Kony is a Ugandan Warlord.

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A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

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What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

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Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

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Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho Cheese! Anti Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Sally's Cheese

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Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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