Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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Guess what i just did. Master bait.

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Your mom is so stupid that she didn't get into college due to her low act score of 16. She feels the need to improve so she asked me to tutor her.

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Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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What is a jew in space? Dead

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

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Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

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How do you beat a black man in a race? You run faster then him.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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Why didn't the monkey cross the road? He saw the chicken get run over.

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Whats worse than not having cellphone service? Having sex unwillingly with a stranger then getting pregnant at the age of 13.

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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Yo momma so fat,she went on a diet and now exersizes regularly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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