What's the difference between a banana and a monkey? They're both yellow, except the monkey

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People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like rhymes Penis

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Sure. A: Do you want to hear a short one or a long one? B: uh... a short one. A: joke. Do you want to hear a long one? joooooooke.

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What do u call a black astronaut? An astronaut, you racist prick

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Why did Sally cross the road? She didn't, she got hit by my car.

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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At least I dont have AIDS.

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Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

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Black people

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

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your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

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I like my coffee like I like my women..... Without Hepatitis.

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What is 1+4x : No i will not take my pants off!

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In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops