why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours Nacho Cheese actually it depends on the type of cheese that you stole due to your kleptomania

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How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

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Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

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Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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what's worse than getting cancer.........nothing cancer is a pretty bad thing

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What's red and hurts your teeth. Answer: a brick

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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A girl that had Malaria couldn't play with her friends, whys this? She died.

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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Why is siracha taste so good on chicken? Because it compliments the meat.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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I really did not understand the chapter. Is there anyway I can meet with you at a later time to discuss what I did wrong?

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A.do i have alzheimer's? B.yes A.do i have alzheimer's?

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A gay jew walked into a bar. Just kidding, for there was only a red blanket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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