What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

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Where did Suzy go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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Your momma;s so fat she stepped on the scale and said one at a time please!

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Why did the blonde throw her alarm clock out the window? Because it was broken.

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When im invisible you cant see me, i know

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What's the difference between a mole and dynamite? - Moles don't explode... unless you fill them with dynamite.

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

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this kid named terry stockton lives in craig beach ohio is gay

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Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

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Why cant Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles read? Because they are blind you racist.

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Why was Jerry Sanduski at K-Mart? He heard boys pants were half off!

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem used for seasoning food, and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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So a deaf man is listening to the radio.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

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What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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Whats red and dirty? Her period

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Roses are red Violets are blue That's what they tell me Because I'm blind

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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three jews walk into a bar. then a bear mauls them.

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When life gives you lemons, you're probably at Mr. Life's fruit stand over on Imperial Avenue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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