What do you call a man with no home or family? Charles Manson…He currently resides in jail.

Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... whats worst than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

Why did the clown drink all the sweet wine? Because he was an alcoholic.

"Whooaaa Momma." - Says Johnny Bravo

Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

doctor , doctor , i feel depressed , we will start you on a course of anti-depressents , vitimins , and daily exercise, make a appointment for next week , and i will referrer you to a phycatrist

What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

roses are red violets are blue everyone is stupid how about you? -I'm not Im black

This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

Why can no one in africa read or write? I would asume the lack of public education combined with the fact that setting up an education system for so many widespread remote comunities would be a logistical nightmare. But then again I have never been to africa and know little about the country and so the premise of this joke is probably a dramatic overstatement in the first place.

A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You do not, as she is blind and deaf, and partaking in doing so would be the morally wrong thing to do.

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall Humpty dumpty ha a great fall Hunpty dumpty's skull was split in two

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Beacuse she has no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's There? Not Sally.

Wh ydo i Hate you? 'COs Your a Gimp!

Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?

Why is cameron haythorp gay? Answer- He showed his willy to robet tuner

These two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second guy would've noticed it was there.

What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

womens rights

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...