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Whats two plus two? Miles

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a hot tub. One polar bear asks the other to pass the soap. The other responds, "No soap, radio!"

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hahah there are so funny that they are so funny that they are so litteral that i make my self make other people laugh so that they poop

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A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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Why did the man take a shower?, he didint smell so good...

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yo mamas so dumb she named her house butt and her son crack and then she called the police saying I looked all over my butt and i can not find my crack.

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Jeff

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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Where's my tractor?

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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What do you call a smart blond? A golden retriever!

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops