What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

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You know what assuming leads to... .....Assumptions.

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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whats worse than failing your maths test? getting aids

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why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

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Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

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Dude 1: Hey, ya see these coins here? Dude 2: ya, what about em'? Dude 1: would you say you see these pretty often? Dude 2: yup... :/ Dude 1: so would you call them COMMON CENTS!?!?!?!?!

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

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Snow White found a magic lamp in the middle of the forest. She rubbed it and became pregnant because the spout was a penis.

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What did the Jews say before they got of the bus? Let's make like a Jewish kid's forskin and get the hell out of here.

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What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

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yomamas so fat it made Ben kanobi say thats no moon thats yo mama!

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Why did you fall? Because of my buttcrack.

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So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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what did the frog say to the fence? chicken

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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