Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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You just wasted time of your life reading this, and perhaps even more wasted time thumbing this down.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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So I was walking down the street the other day, I went to the shop.

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Roses are red Violets are blue One fish two fish Red fish blue fish

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What are the two biggest jokes in College Football? Auburn and Florida! Roll Tide!

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Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah!

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

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How does shit taste?\ Good.

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What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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1,2,3,4,5... 6.

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What is orange, has 7 legs, and makes the same noise as a crow? If you can think of something that fits all of those characteristics, you need help

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If a chicken and a taco cross a highway how many cats does it take to milk a turkey? Cactus cause the dog had two black eyes

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What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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Heheheheh, Good one, you made me laugh, you just made me realize that it was indeed I that said that to you once, and now you are telling me. I know now, I am happy, not because I seek happiness, but because thinking, finding solutions, guiding myself and others, is what makes me happy. I feel like an alien, because my ideals, my solutions hopes and dreams that grow out of a result of my constant thinking, will never be in this world. Yet I also feel human now, because it could have been, humanity could have succeeded...

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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I can't make my mind about the debate on legalisation of marijuana. Some days I think it's a good thing. Somes days I think it's a bad thing. And some days, I don't think about it at all and I just think it's a very nice day.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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