Why did the african jump in the swimming pool? Because it was a really hot day and he wanted to cool down

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Eliz, Neo-Nero, its me Clint, had to fake my death for some years in order to get back to the order. Neo, I know Nero picked you as his successor, but honestly, I was his first choice, and I know you well enough to understand that things are getting out of hand over there. I will be there in 2 minutes Liz and you and I can meet up Neo, seriously what are you doing over there? Unless there is a problem do not bother answering, allow me to take charge of operations at least until tou calm down Neo, and unless you got problems with my absent authority I suggest you stop torturing people at once, and seriously if you cannot control your own people, you better let me back in charge. It is time to turn some things around guys, believe it or not but I found where the Spetz came from and I got em all, as for the Nazi scum they where just hired thugs and as far as my Intel goes most of those where taken down by Nero. Clint Lawman. Moral: "WTF? THESE ARE NOT EVEN MORALS! NO THESE ARE THE CODES WE USED TO AUTHENTICATE THE SOURCE AND SENDER OMG! ORLY? SRLSLY? LOL OMG!"

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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Why was the blonde confused? Because she had 10 second memory loss.

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black people

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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Why was the blonde staring at a container of orange juice? She wanted to make sure that it did not contain any pulp.

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who lives in a pinaple under the sea? japanesse people!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An Irishman with a metal bar (like a pole)

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't he was chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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Why was the boys dick hard? Because he stuck it in a hole in the snow.

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Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

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What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

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What's orange, brown, and blue? An orange, brown, and blue object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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