How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

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You know what's bad? Running over a baby with a truck. You know what's worse? Skidding on it.

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Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

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Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

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Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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What did the Jews say before they got of the bus? Let's make like a Jewish kid's forskin and get the hell out of here.

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A man walked into a bar. He said ow.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

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What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

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What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

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Why is this joke hilarious? Because it isn't.

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whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

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I'M JOSH BROWN!!!!!

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what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

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Knock Kock Who's there? Boo Boo who The ghost from Mario

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Whats an Anti-joke?? A joke that possesses the kind of humor based on the surprise factor of absence of an expected joke or of a punch line in a narration which is set up as a joke.

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Why did Ramsey fall off the seesaw? Because while he was playing with friends on a seesaw at a nearby Country Club, a very angry and insane man who had many handicaps, decided to solve his problems by killing someone. A funeral was held a week later.

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What do you can a Brazilian woman wearing a bikini? It depends on the case, but usually Brazilian women are named "Maria", "Ana", "Júlia" and many others kinds of names, with their root being hispanic, portguese and latin lenguages. Respectively, the names quoted have the English translation being "Mary", for Maria, "Anne", for Ana, and July, for Júlia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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