Dr. Dick Howard Long visits a friend in England. Arriving at his friend's house, he knocked at the door. A butler then lets him in and asks, "Sir, would you like to wait while the Master bathes?" The doctor then replies, "Sure thing, I'll wait until he's done."

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What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

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What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

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Why was the little boy crying He had a frog stapled to his head

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What's worse than the holocost? 6 Million Jews

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Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman notices this rather humorous cliche and proceeds to point it out, laughs are shared by all.

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What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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What did the very inquisitive poor black guy say to the very rich white man at the train station? Nothing, they didn't know each other. And they both had their iPods in. And they were at different train stations. And they were in different countries. And the black guy died 20 years ago.

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-_- i like trains ... -_-

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why did the mexican choose to work as a landscaper instead of at taco bell? landscaping pays much better and was a more practical decision in this economy to support his family of 13.

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Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

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whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

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why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

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Why do girls like Justin Beiber? They dont

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Why doesnt a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on his head.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

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Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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