A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks GET OVER IT

Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

What did catwoman say to batman? meow.

Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

what did batman say to robin before they got into the batmibile "get in the batmoblie"

A baby seal walks into a club.

Why was the black man in the hotel so upset? I shit on his chest.

What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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