What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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Roses are red my underwear is brown I just sharted my pants

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Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said: ‘I’ve had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.

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A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

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Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

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How do you break up a fight between two blacks I have ADD and Im proud of it

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Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

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What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

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An Englishman, an American and a Frenchman are standing on the side of a cliff. The Englishman jumps off the cliff. The American also jumps off the cliff. He is followed by the Frenchman. Suicide and depression are major problems in today's world regardless of nationality.

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what do you call an elephant crossing a fish? a elephant fish

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Three Greeks and Three Turks are traveling by train to a conference. Both racial groups arrive safely to their destination.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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Roses are, blue, Violets are red, Screw poetic forms, I wish you were dead

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What is the last digit of Pi? Pi is an infinite decimal sequence, and therefore has no last number, but if it did, it would presumably be somewhere from 0-9.

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How did the girl get hit by a car? Better question, How did the car get in the kitchen?

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Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

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What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

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What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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