roses are red violets are blue i have candy im about to rape you

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

What do you have Canasta!!! Were not playing canasta you stupid asshole

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

Roses are red Violets are blue There are other flowers in the world But you wouldn't know it from this poem.

"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

4 Jews are killed during a car accident, the whole city mourns over there death and create a plaque in their honor.

what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

Nice belt.

What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

do,Nt loagh at me I has dislecqsia

What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

What did the blonde get for Christmas? A Brain

Q: why did the pie cross the road? A: Pie is not a living thing and has no way of transportation, therefor the pie did not cross the road.

A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

What do you call a retarded black man? His name

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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