Why didn't the disabled kid cross the road? He didn't make it.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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Yo momma's so fat she got her own zip code! except she doesn't because zip codes are reserved for much larger areas than that of your mother.

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

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How do you kill a black man There is many ways

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Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

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Win industrial estate, Newry

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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What do you call two dog? dogs

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

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why do cats hate dogs the Holocaust

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how much c o c k could a n i g g e r lick if a f a g g o t licked a d i c k

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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Why couldnt the girl ride her bike? becuase she was dreaming she actually doesnt have a bike her family is poor in these hard economic times.

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Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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