Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

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What do you call a hot underaged girl. off limits i am her father.

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these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

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roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

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What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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What is worse then finding repeated jokes on anti jokes? finding a womr in your apple

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what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. And now he's dead. No more shoe ingestion

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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