What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

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What do you call a blonde with a Doctorate in Physics? Doctor (Dr).

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What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

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Gas prices are so high, I've had to resort to walking and riding my bike.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog with no legs

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A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

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They say once you go black, you never go black. But clearly they weren't referring to Nigel, who had an average-sized penis at best.

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amy baked 35 sugar cookies and ate 25, what does she have now? diabetes.

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

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A baby walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "what'll ya have, Sport?" The baby's family runs in with a video camera screaming for joy over his first steps.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Why was the man choking? He was eating to fast.

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What do you call a man that eats a sandwich? Hungry.

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What do you call a fat man in a tiny pipe? Stuck.

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( . Y . )

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

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Want some candy? Lol jk get in my van.

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Why are aspirins white? Because the creator of aspirin didn't feel it necessary to color the pills.

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Blah blah something about Ryan Dunn.

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captcha: all yer base

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Yo mama is so fat , she died of a heart condition

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What has three eyes, scales, seventeen stomachs, and can produce milk? Nothing. Nature has not yet evolved any animal to these specifications.

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Simba was moving slow,so I told him to MUFASA!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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