Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

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Holy Fish Sticks Batman! Batman and Robin were at a church and saw a priest eating fish sticks.

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

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Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

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Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

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Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

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yo mamma so fat when she seen a stop sigh she ate it

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Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

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Whats worse than Holocaust Anti-Jokes? Oh, a lot of things, actually. Personally, I find them hilarious.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Yo Mama!

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If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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there is 500 dicks on the wall how many will choke on? None?? so ur a professional!!!! lol

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Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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what do you call a young man? a little boy

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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