Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Women's Rights

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what do you call a black man driving a police car? a cop

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

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Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a mini ? two in the front, two in theback and 96 in the ash tray

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? He graduated at the top of his class with a master's degree in engineering.

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What do friends and potatoes have in common? If you eat them, they will die.

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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Why is Steve Jobs dead, but Bill Gates isn't? Because Bill Gates wasn't diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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The man says to the doctor "Sir, I have contracted a terrible headache." The doctor replies back, "Yes you do."

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Sunflowers are red. My garden is on fire.

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What can make you pee? Liquid

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I dyslexic man walks into a bra. This incident had no relation whatsoever to his condition. The bra was just in an unusual and inconvenient location, and he wasn't paying much attention to where he was going.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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What made the lady dance? Bandz!

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What is a pirate's favorite color? It depends on the pirate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops