When I get aroused I get a solid snake

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There were two muffins in an oven. They were forgotten about by the baker so they cried, caught fire, burned to death, and formed a medium-sized pile of ashes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

This sentence is not humorous in any fashion whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He orders a lemonade and leaves promptly

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did the blonde die? Frogs teleported from the future and brutally murdered her with forks.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how many dead babies fit in a bathtub 16

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, here's some candy, gent in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Nice belt.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the black man say to his wife? Nothing, she had died earlier that year after a long battle with cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Well, there's one way...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops