roses are red violets are blue , but i would't know that because u never bring me flowers, you bastard .

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Faces like yours belong in the Zoo. Don't be mad I will be there too. Not in the gate but laughing at you.

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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Why was Sally's dad crying? Because Sally got raped. Why was Sally crying? Her dad raped her.

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The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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What is white and cannot jump? A refridgerator.

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What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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What's the difference between Jews and Germans? Jews are allowed to have an opinion about the Holocaust and hoot and holler and threaten anyone who has a different opinion than they. The sad, anti-joke part of this is that most morons will actually support this tyrannical bullying behavior. Also, special taxes against Germans that they're not allowed to have a problem with. I guess slavery is okay if you're White.

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One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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I was walking down the street the other day and I saw this lady and suddenly: POTATOES!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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