You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

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What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

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The Tiarajudens is a Permian land-walrus.

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

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What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

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Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

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4 men walk into a bar... Don't jump to conclusions! They were gay.

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Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

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what did chloe say to alexis? you took my phone

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Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

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Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

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What do you call a baby that fell in lava Dead

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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(Pretend that your adopted, and no one loves you) Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Chuck Norris screams in pain.

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What is the difference between ashes and a jew? A lot

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: Depends on how hard you can throw.

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

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Your momma;s so fat she stepped on the scale and said one at a time please!

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Where did Suzy go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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