What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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A tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it... Fall on top of a woman and crush her to death

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Two children are opening presents for Christmas. Daughter: "Look how many beautiful things I've got, look how much parents love me! And you got a Jo-Jo! Ha-ha!" Son*playing with Jo-Jo*: "Yeah, some of us have Jo-Jo, and some of us leuchemia. Ha-ha."

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What did one wardrobe say to another wardrobe? Clothes.

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Why was the turtle blue? He wasn't you are color blind.

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why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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anal seepage

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

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What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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An Italian leaves the mofia

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What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

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women's rights

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Question: You are in a bed between a hot chick and a gay guy, who do you turn your back to? Answer: False, I am to unattractive to find myself in bed with anybody else.

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A- knock knock B- whose there? A- Chuck Norris B- chuck norris who? A- are you retarded?

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Knock knock Who's there? April April who? April fools

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Jewwy Jewstein

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... Chan chan

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What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

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Why does Bugs Bunny have big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops