Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a tire swing? A: I don't have a tire swing hanging in my backyard.

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I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

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When is Florida not the sunshine state? At night.

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Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

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Yo mamma's so fat, that she weighs alot.

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A black guy walks into a KKK meeting. He is burnt on a cross outside his families house. They will mourn his death for years to come

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Why did the black guy get kicked out of the bar? He was riding a jack hammer

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A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

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Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

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You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

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i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

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where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

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what happend to Helen Keller when she fell in a hole She climed out of the hole

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What do animals eat at the beach? Sandwitches

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A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

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A retarded man waks ito aaa baar

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what starts with an f and ends with a uck? firetruck!!

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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