Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

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Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

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Why did 3 blacks guys start watching the first Star Wars movie on Saturday night? They finished the Back to the Future movies on Friday.

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If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

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Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

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Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

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Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

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how do you get all the people in ireland out of their homes? roll a potato down the road. how do you find the richest person in ireland? you find the one who got the patato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops