That awkward moment when you wonder why this person keeps stepping on you, and you realize that you’re a shoe.

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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What did the doctor say to the minority, parapalegic after he barely escaped a fire alive? You just got burned!!

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What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

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How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

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What smells like satans pubic hair and dresses like a woman? Vinny Trolia

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They have a lengthy discussion regarding the hardships their people have suffered throughout history. Eventually, the subject changes to which coffee franchise has the best blend. A clear, concise decision is never reached. They then are asked to leave the bar, as they have not ordered any drinks and the bar is for paying customers only.

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Knock Knock Who's there It's me open the door

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What's purple and tastes like grapes? Grapes

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Your future.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

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Why did the downtown New York worker never make it home? An airplane crashed into his office.

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Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

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What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

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Which side of an ostrich has the most feathers? Obviously the outside! Who would be so low educated to even have the idea that an ostrich can have feathers on the inside of it's body?

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Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

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Dad: i hate you. dads son:(kills him self)

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What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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Jesus was born and rased a jew

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Heheheheh, Good one, you made me laugh, you just made me realize that it was indeed I that said that to you once, and now you are telling me. I know now, I am happy, not because I seek happiness, but because thinking, finding solutions, guiding myself and others, is what makes me happy. I feel like an alien, because my ideals, my solutions hopes and dreams that grow out of a result of my constant thinking, will never be in this world. Yet I also feel human now, because it could have been, humanity could have succeeded...

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops