In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's strange, most American's don't eat poo I'm Asian

Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

What ended in the year 1970? 1969

Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

You are the most beautiful person in the world.

A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

Joke

Roses are red vielots are blue but they aren't as sweet as you.Can you be my Valentine ny choclate cupcake will you me my choclate

what is orange red and blue, has wheels , and can talk? i don't know that's why i asked you

People...

what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

What's black and blue and hates sex? The 8 year old in my trunk

Whats the difference between black and white. Nothing they're both colors.

I was playing Black Ops online, my wife turned it off in the middle of the game....I killed her

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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