What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a man with no home or family? Charles Manson…He currently resides in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

"Whooaaa Momma." - Says Johnny Bravo

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the clown drink all the sweet wine? Because he was an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happend to the boy with no family? he died in a tragic car accident along with his family

thumb_up thumb_down -24

The U.S. economy is in poor condition and it's downfall would have repercussions throughout the entire world.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yo mama is so ugly that the devil warships her.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What would Martin Luther King Jr. do if he was alive today? Scream at the top of his lungs as he tried to punch out the top of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red violets are flowers jordan and me did it for hours If you know what i mean xxx

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why can no one in africa read or write? I would asume the lack of public education combined with the fact that setting up an education system for so many widespread remote comunities would be a logistical nightmare. But then again I have never been to africa and know little about the country and so the premise of this joke is probably a dramatic overstatement in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops