How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

Your social life.

What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

sweating like antoni with a girl

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a murderer.

Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

If Life Throws You Melons, Then You're Probably Dyslexic. -S.H.A.T Brother 2Flush

Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

a retard walks into a bar a bruise appeared on his head

The FCC

Women's rights

Man in Balcony: You're telling it wrong!

what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

From the makers of Call of Duty 1, comes Call of Duty 2.

What is a black man's favorite fast food restauraunt? Varies.

A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

Why couldn't the women cook for her family She had no arms, therefore incapable of preforming the task.

why was it sad that 3 men were crossing rail road tracks in a toyota and got hit by a train? they ruined the Toyota

Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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