A man and his son cross the street, the man hears a screaming noise and ignores it, the man gets across and notice his wife missing...

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What do vampires cross the sea in?

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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Right now I'm walking down a road shoot car rhendhhdgfgdyxchdhsggggggggggggggggggggggggg

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A muslim walks pass a bomb shop on his way to the international peace club.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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John and Sarah sitting in a tree. K i s s i n g. First comes love. Oops theres goes john-- he's falling---he's falling... he's broken his neck and ruptured his internal organs. D e a t h

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Who keeps his best friend in a gun rack? a red neck.

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The Kidder vs Bratman, not featuring Robbing the gay wonder: "MUHAHAhAha Bratman if you get me ill kill myself!" HOHOHOHO. "Uh okay" "I totally will!" "Go ahead" "I promise!" Bratman kills the Kidder as a favor, and no crime runs around Goodham city ever the end. Moral: Totally original nothing stolen from Joker and the Batman.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

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I just drank a cola.

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What is funnier than one dead baby? Two dead Babies

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What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the little child orphan with no arms or legs get for christmas? CANCER and for his birthday A.I.D.S. R.I.P little orphan

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Why did the black man crash his car? His low-income job forced him to buy a toyota.

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What do you call 6 white men on a bench? The NBA

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once there where 3 guys on a beach. they found a bottle and a fetis came out.. later they found out 2 of the 3 had cancer and the 3rd was a vegetable.

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whats fat and ugly ? aidan slattery

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What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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