There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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Why was the girl sad on her Birthday? She found out she was adopted.

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How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

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What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

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Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

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why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

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What's the difference between a rock and a baby? You can't have sex with the rock.

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What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

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I couldnt remember who Rhiana used to date. Then it hit me.

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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raising eyebrows to expose eyes can also be a signal of attraction ('I'm looking at you, gorgeous. Can you see?').

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A bald guy walks out of a bar Prostate cancer

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Q: What happens when you sit in the middle of the road? A: You get hit by a car and die a horrible death as your family members mourn in the loss and remain sad forever.

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A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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Yo mama so fat , when she went to the doctors office and stepped on the scale they said please, your weight, not your phone number .

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A: Do you like it B: No

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Knock! Knock! Who's There? The Police. Open the damn door. Nobody Is Home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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