What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

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Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

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women's rights

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Question: You are in a bed between a hot chick and a gay guy, who do you turn your back to? Answer: False, I am to unattractive to find myself in bed with anybody else.

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An Italian leaves the mofia

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A tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it... Fall on top of a woman and crush her to death

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why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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anal seepage

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Two children are opening presents for Christmas. Daughter: "Look how many beautiful things I've got, look how much parents love me! And you got a Jo-Jo! Ha-ha!" Son*playing with Jo-Jo*: "Yeah, some of us have Jo-Jo, and some of us leuchemia. Ha-ha."

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Roses are red violets are blue I have boobs and so do you

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your mom is so old, she is often confused for your grandmother.

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Q: why do irish people like swimming A: because it's fun

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A jewish man trips and breaks his nose

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Your mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror it displays her reflection like all mirrors do

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? That feels quite good.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

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Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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Knock Knock whose there YOUR MOM

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a. how did you shoot the rabbit? b. with my banana

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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